He used to fight for the right words.
Not to dominate — but to be understood.
To defend his heart. To show that he wasn’t trying to hurt her, even when she said she felt hurt.
And so, the cycle continued:
She opened up. He explained.
She expressed pain. He clarified his intent.
She needed connection. He delivered correction.
Every moment that could have been a bridge turned into a Interrogation.
Because he thought being misunderstood meant he was being judged unfairly.
He didn’t realize that needing to be right was costing him the chance to be real.
It wasn’t about winning. It was about not feeling wrong.
Because underneath the arguments, underneath the explaining,
was a boy who still carried the shame of never being good enough.
A boy who panicked at the idea that someone he loved could see him as a failure.
So he defended. And in doing so, he made her feel emotionally abandoned.
He now sees it:
“I thought I had to prove my love.
But what I really needed was to sit with you, without needing to fix the image of me in your mind.”“I needed to be real. Messy. Accountable. Soft. Not perfect — just present.”
Because love doesn’t grow where truth is debated. It grows where truth is witnessed. Without defense. Without distraction.
She needed to feel his heart. He gave her his logic.
She needed to feel seen. He gave her a list of what he meant.
She needed him to breathe with her pain. He tried to remove it.
Now, he understands the cost.
He didn’t lose her because he didn’t love her.
He lost her because he couldn’t stop protecting his own self-image long enough to simply say:
“You’re right.
That must have hurt.
And I’m not going to explain it away.
I’m just going to stay here with you, in it.”
And if she ever reads him again…
“I want you to know —
I finally let go of needing to be the good guy.
The right one.
The perfect man who always had an answer.Because none of that helped you feel safe.
What would’ve helped…
was my truth. Your emotion. and My stillness beside your storm.And I’ve built that now.
Not to prove anything —but because I finally see what I couldn’t before.”
He doesn’t need to be understood anymore.
He just wants to be real.
And if she ever gives him that space again —
he won’t defend the old him.
He’ll simply be here.
Fully. Truthfully.
No shields. No Debates.
Just love.
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